Ask me stuff guys.
Why is my mind forced to have these thoughts and images ricochet around? I know I don’t want anything to do with them or you, but why do I find myself reflecting so often? It could not be any clearer that we can’t possibly share anything. It’s just that we’re worlds apart. I don’t like you, I don’t like the way you think, I don’t like your friends, I don’t life the fact that your sense of loyalty is in absence. But then why am I even mentioning this? Why do I care enough to even spend my time going on about what I’m 99.99% sure is nothing? Have I left something unresolved? What bothers me the most is that I know in all certainty that nothing like this is going on in your head. Are you ironically a better person than me for not having such contempt? Not that there’s anything to even be resentful for. I did everything. And therein lies the problem. There alone is the reason why I feel like a fool every time I see, or hear anything about your phony life. That I was suckered into thinking that I was a real part of it I guess. Yeah I guess that kinda hurt. Yet you walked away without a scratch. But I suppose I let you. Which means I can’t have possibly cared THAT much. So at least I can take solace in that. Hopefully after this long and pointless post, I can put it all past me once and for all. Maybe I should let it go. The resentment. The contempt. Maybe then, this unfair, unruly cloud of what I can only assume is guilt (not used to that emotion really) will fade. Maybe I can really stop thinking about shit like this that I know, does not matter to me whatsoever on a typical basis. But there’s got to be a connection. That didn’t change the fact that it’s not fair that I’m the one going through it. So I will go through with my plan. Just let it go; pretend like it never happened. Yeah.